Newly Single? How to Financially Get Over Your Ex

This article was originally published at HiCharlie.com

Some of the content is American based but is still very useful in a South African context.

Breakups are painful and confusing. All of a sudden, your life is completely different, and you now need to deal with everything on your own — including financial matters. Even though your heart is bruised, and mind is dazed, you need to take charge of your money and financially get over your ex. This is especially true if they handled the household budget or were the main breadwinner.

To avoid adding money misery to your heartache, follow these 10 tips:

Adjust Quickly

It’s natural to wallow in the pain, binging on ice cream and Netflix. However, you need to acknowledge your new reality as soon as possible. If you don’t, you could find yourself in a financial world of hurt. Once you’ve come to grips, you can make a plan.

Determine Your Living Situation

If you and your ex live together, you need to decide who stays in the house or apartment. If unmarried with the mortgage or lease in only one of your names, the decision is easy. But, if it’s a joint venture, you’ll need to partner on a solution.

For owned property, the fairest route may be to sell and split the proceeds. (Or, one of you could buy out the other.). If you are navigating a divorce, the terms of the divorce will decide what happens to the home.

For rented property, you’ll need to involve your landlord. They can make official changes to the lease so that you or your ex is no longer legally responsible for paying rent. If neither of you can afford the apartment on your own, you may need to sublet, re-let, or break the lease.

Regardless of whether you’re staying or going, you need to consider the financial impact. If your ex is leaving, you’ll lose their income. If you’re leaving, you’ll lose their income and need to come up with the cash to move.

Take Stock of Possessions & Debt

A moment ago, everything was shared. Now, it’s a definite case of yours and theirs. Regardless of marital status, anything owned before the relationship typically stays with you. If you’re not married, you and your ex should divvy up items acquired together or choose to sell them and share the profits. Joint bank accounts should be split fairly and then closed. Further, if you incurred debt together, you should divide responsibility for the balances and close those accounts (preventing your ex from racking up more debt you’d be liable for). Typically, unless there is a dispute, legal intervention is not required.

If you’re getting divorced, your state laws will determine how assets and debts are divided (prenuptial agreements will have an impact as well). In most states, the court will distribute assets and liabilities fairly (not necessarily equally). In the nine community property states, everything obtained during the marriage is split 50-50. Be sure to understand the terms of your divorce or custody arrangement, if applicable, so that you can take advantage of everything that you’re entitled to.

Tip: Don’t forget to change the name on the utility accounts! You don’t want to be responsible for paying for electricity, heat, water, or internet after you move out.

Open Up Your Own Accounts

To move forward, you need to completely separate your finances from your ex. After closing your jointly held asset and debt accounts, open up any new ones that you need. Make sure that anything tied to money is in your name only.

Make (and Stick to) a Budget

You’re now in charge of running your own household and need to set a new budget to reflect that. Add up all of your expenses, including debt payments. Then, add up all of your income sources, factoring in alimony/child support, if applicable.

If your income falls short of your expenses, you need to make quick adjustments to your spending/find ways to increase cash flow. And, even though it’s tempting, try to avoid post-breakup retail therapy, which could cause you more grief and regret.

Tip: If you’re new to budgeting (or are a little rusty), try using a worksheet like this. There are also countless online tools and calculators like these that can help. Remember, Charlie can help you track your debt and spending so that you can stick to your newly created budget.

Update Legal Documents

Unless otherwise required by the terms of your divorce, now’s the time to take your ex out of your will and off of your list of beneficiaries. Be sure to update these documents and name new beneficiaries.

Understand Tax Implications

If you’re divorcing, consider speaking with an accountant to see how your tax liability will change. Generally, single people pay higher taxes. If your income tax withholding is set as “married,” you may want to adjust it by filling out a new w4 form with your employer(s).

Revisit Your Retirement Plan

Since you’re now flying solo, you should re-evaluate your retirement plans. Of course, a lot can change between now and your golden years, but you should ballpark how much money you’ll need if you’re just covering yourself. If you’re divorcing, retirement plan assets accumulated while married are subject to division as part of the proceedings. This monetary gain (or loss) will impact how much more you need to save. Finally, if you’re going to be financially strapped for awhile, consider if it makes sense to suspend contributions to your retirement plan until you’re back on your feet.

Keep Tabs on Your Credit

Your credit situation will change as you close some accounts and open others. Keep a close eye on your credit report to make sure all activity reported is accurate. If you haven’t already, remove your ex as an authorized user on any accounts that you’re keeping.

Tip: If you think your ex may purposefully use your cards, consider changing your credit card account numbers or freezing your credit.

Get Help

If you’re feeling lost and overwhelmed, ask for help. This is a difficult time and there are resources to make this transition easier. Your family and friends can offer support, encouragement, and distraction from the current drama. Community services can connect you with food, housing assistance, career development resources, and more if you’re feeling pinched. Finally, professionals can help with the legal, mental health, and financial planning aspects of this challenging chapter.

This article is for general guidance only. Since every situation is different and laws vary widely from state to state, you’re encouraged to seek the advice of a qualified professional before acting.

Final Thoughts

Ending a relationship is one of the most difficult parts of the human experience. In a way, your world is ending. But, in a way, it’s just beginning, too. If you follow the tips in this article and lean on your support system, you’ll be well on your way to owning (and loving) your new single, empowered life.

Can a hotel guest sue for an injured ankle?

A guest slipped and fell in a hotel bathroom and injured his ankle. The court, in Klassen v Blue Lagoon Hotel and Conference Centre had to decide if the hotel was negligent and had to pay the guest damages.

The defendant disputed liability, alleging that the plaintiff was drunk at the relevant time. It also relied on a disclaimer notice to guests, indicating that the hotel would not be responsible for any personal injury to guests whether such injuries or loss were sustained by the negligent or wrongful act of anyone in the employment of or acts on behalf of the defendant.

Held that the Court was satisfied on the evidence before it, that the plaintiff had injured his ankle when he slipped and fell in the defendant’s toilets. It also accepted that when the plaintiff checked in at reception, he completed and signed a registration card and that the said card contained the exemption clause relied on by the defendant. Furthermore, the disclaimer notices were displayed at the motor vehicle entrance and the guardhouse.

The test for negligence is whether a reasonable person, in the same circumstances as the defendant, would have foreseen the possibility of harm to the plaintiff; would have taken steps to guard against the possibility; and whether the defendant failed to take those steps. The evidence established that the defendant had a properly functioning cleaning system in place, and that it took reasonable precautions in ensuring that the toilet facilities were kept in a clean and dry condition and that they did not pose a danger to its guests.

Finding no negligence, the Court dismissed plaintiff’s claim.

What is the difference between a suretyship and a guarantee?

ABC (Pty) Limited (the creditor) wants to sell goods for a large amount to XYZ (Pty) Ltd (the debtor, also known as the principal debtor). The creditor needs some form of comfort that the debt will be paid. Typically, it could ask for a cession of the book debts of the debtor or a pledge of its shares or, usually, require one or all of the directors of the debtor to bind themselves as sureties on behalf of the debtor, or to provide guarantees, that if the debtor fails to pay, the creditor can look to the directors for payment.

So, what’s the difference between a suretyship and a guarantee? The main distinction is that a suretyship is based on ‘secondary’ liability whereas the guarantee is based on ‘primary’ liability.

Suretyship

·         A suretyship is a contract between the creditor, the principal debtor and the person binding himself on behalf of the principal debtor, as the surety, usually as surety and co-principal debtor. In his personal capacity the surety undertakes to step into the shoes of the principal debtor and pay the creditor if the principal debtor can’t. This is the secondary nature of the contract. 

·         The surety and the principal debtor become jointly and severally liable to the creditor. 

·         There are legal exceptions (such as an obligation on the creditor to look to the principal debtor first, before proceeding against the surety) that are invariably waived in the suretyship agreement. This means that the creditor need not seek to recover the debt from the principal debtor first before enforcing the agreement against the surety.

• The General Law Amendment Act 50 of 1956 requires that a valid suretyship agreement must be in writing and signed by the surety. 

Guarantee

·         An independent guarantee is based on ‘primary’ liability and exists independently of any underlying obligation by the principal debtor to the creditor.

·         So the guarantor irrevocably and unconditionally guarantees, as a primary obligation, in favour of the creditor, the due and punctual payment by the principal debtor of all amounts it owes to the creditor and undertakes to pay the creditor on written demand all sums which are now, or at any time or times in the future due by the principal debtor to the creditor.

·         The guarantee is a continuing covering security and remains in force until the principal debtor pays everything it owes to the creditor.

·         A guarantee does not have to be in writing, but it obviously should be.

Regulations about gas installations home-owners should know

Source: Compeg

The rapidly increasing cost of electricity has resulted in a growth in popularity among many South African home-owners to utilise gas installations in their homes. However, most homeowners are unaware that there are specific regulations that they must comply with when installing gas equipment in their homes to ensure their insurance policy remains valid.

According to the regulations that were introduced in 2009, all gas installations must have a Certificate of Conformity according to the Pressure Equipment Regulations that have been promulgated under the Occupation Health and Safety Act (No 85 of 1993).

While this may sound like a complex legal document – essentially it is a certificate that states that the installation has been properly inspected and is determined to be safe and leak free. It is critical that this certificate is also issued by an authorised person who is registered with the Liquefied Petroleum Gas Safety Association of Southern Africa (LPGAS).

According to the regulation, any home-owner who has a liquid gas installation installed in their home must have this certificate, which is usually obtained during the installation phase. However, all home-owners considering gas installations need to know that the onus is on them, the homeowner, to ensure that they have this certificate in their possession, not the installer.

If your home is damaged or destroyed, as a result of a defective gas appliance – and you do not have a valid certificate issued by someone registered with LPGAS – the insurance implications could be significant. An insurance company would be well within their rights to repudiate a claim, which could have severe financial repercussions for the home-owner.

Having the installation inspected and approved is a quick and easy process – provided the installation has been done correctly – much in line with similar requirements for electrical installations, which also requires a certificate of compliance under the Machinery and Occupational Safety Act of 1983.

The types of gas installations that require this certificate include gas fires or braais, gas stoves and ovens, as well as hot water systems. It is vital for all home-owners to realise that such an inspection is not just essential for their insurance policy to remain valid, but even more importantly, that it is conducted to ensure that the installation is safe and their family is not put at risk. If a gas appliance has been incorrectly installed and results in a gas leak this could have major health implications for a family, not to mention the huge danger involved of an explosion.

Airbnb and short-term letting in sectional title complexes

Can body corporate’s rules prohibit this?

I believe that Airbnb has over 40,000 South African active listings on their site. How many of those are owners in sectional title complexes, and how do short-term rentals affect security in complexes?

As our complex views short-term rentals of under 3 months as a security risk, our body corporate rules provide:

SHORT-TERM RENTALS

It is recorded that no section shall be let by any owner or resident for a period of less than 3 months at a time. No "Airbnb" or similar leasing/bed and breakfast/hotel/serviced apartment arrangements or platforms shall be permitted unless the prior written consent of the Trustees is obtained.

FAILURE TO ADHERE TO THIS RULE SHALL ATTRACT AN IMMEDIATE FINE OF R5000 PER OCCURRENCE/INCIDENT, WHICH AMOUNT SHALL INCREASE ANNUALLY BY 10%.

But can we enforce this? It seems that we must wait for a High Court ruling.

The Community Schemes Ombud Service Act (“the CSOS Act”) applies. In July 2018, the CSOS adjudicator heard a dispute between the body corporate and three owners regarding the amendment of the body corporate’s conduct rules that prohibited letting units in the scheme for a period of less than 3 months. The owners, who had been making use of the Airbnb website to let their units for less than three months at a time, contended that this rule was unfair and unreasonable.

The adjudicator had to consider the following questions:

1.     Is the rule prohibiting short-term rentals in compliance with the Sectional Titles Schemes Management Act (“the STSMA”)?

2.     And, if so, is the rule applicable and enforceable against the 3 owners letting their units on Airbnb?

3.     Is the rule prohibiting short-term rentals in compliance with the STSMA?

The adjudicator considered section 10(3) of the STSMA, which requires that a scheme’s conduct rules be reasonable and apply equally to all owners of units within the scheme, and the balance between the respective interests of the owners and the body corporate.

I

n summary, the adjudicator’s findings were as follows:

·         The rule prohibiting short-term rentals of less than 3 months at a time is reasonable and fair in the circumstances.

·         Different rules cannot apply to different owners and the owners who previously let their units via the Airbnb platform have to abide by the new rule.

·         However, the rule should only become enforceable after a fair and reasonable notice period.

Having reached that conclusion, however, the adjudicator finally found that the CSOS Act “does not confer any jurisdiction on an adjudicator to make an order whereby a party can be instructed to cease his/her/their behaviour in contravention of a rule” and further that the act “does not confer the jurisdiction on an adjudicator to declare a rule reasonable and enforceable.”

The adjudicator confirmed that as she does not have the required jurisdiction she stated that “given the uncertainty in schemes insofar as short term letting is concerned, a High Court ruling would be highly beneficial”.